Nurse, my mom is out of bed again!

By September of this year I had been a member of a dating site for several months.  The previous summer I went on dates with a few different girls from NYC (where I had been living) whom I'd met on the dating website. Nothing took off but I didn't lose hope.

Then I received a message from a woman who appeared to be a qualified candidate.  She was a pre-med student at Columbia and had a good doctor personality.  I sort of have a thing for women doctors..  She was from the same neighborhood where I lived for 6 years near my college.  We were genuinely surprised we didn't meet before or have mutual friends.  We even shopped at the same obscure food market.

The following weekend we met for dinner.  We had sushi and the date went smoothly with no lack of conversation.  She had a couple of quirks, but ones I could live with.  As we finished dinner, I thought our date went well overall and was looking forward to calling her about a second date during the week.  However, she made sure to secure a second date with me before the bill arrived.  Fond of the personal initiative, I proposed we do something that I had in mind.  I have excellent second date ideas no one would ever turn down.  First dates are just for screening purposes.

We planned to message during the week on Facebook because it was more laid back than the dating website, where you send "intimate messages."  When I looked at her profile, I could only view some of her info, 10 profile pictures, and couldn't see her wall because she applied austere privacy settings.  I figured she was either a private person until she gets to know people or was afraid I would be distasteful enough to broadcast the fact that we were now dating on her wall to others.

I called my parents on the phone the next Saturday and mentioned there was a girl I had went out on a date with a week before and it went well. I told them her name, I intended to see her again, and that we had been messaging through Facebook. My parents are cool people and I'm generally open with them about what's going on in my life.  They also got Facebook accounts recently, which began a pattern of wall messages from my mother that she apparently didn't notice I was deleting -- lets take one I remember: "Hi, my oldest son!  How are you doing?  Haven't talked to you all week.  Hope all is well at work.  Talk soon, Love, Mom" -- perfectly innocuous and devoid of substance, but not the sort of thing you want your friends from college to read on your Facebook wall.  So when I was on the phone with Mom, I asked as kindly as possible that she not write anything about that on my wall nor message the girl since she now knew her name.  She said "of course sweetie, I would never do that," and we moved on in the conversation.

The night before our second date, I phoned just to touch base and make sure we were still on.  Before she responded about whether we still had plans, she said there was something she wanted to mention to me.  My mother messaged her on Facebook!  I asked if she was sure it was my mother, trying to give my mom the benefit of the doubt and feel the waters.  "Yea, she messaged me.  I just thought you might want to be aware.  It's just little weird, you know.."  I apologized for my mother and tried to explain that she doesn't always stay seated in her rocker.  "Its okay, it was actually a very nice message, I just wasn't sure if you knew...  By the way, I don't really think I have time to meet tomorrow because I have a lot of schoolwork right now."  It was the first week of classes. Then came the "don't call me, I'll call you" thing.

I called my mom the next night.  It was a tough thing to bring up because I don't like to criticize the actions of people close to me, nonetheless those of my mother.  Ultimately, I had to de-friend my Mom on Facebook.  I knew she frequently visited my Facebook page and looked at my pictures, but it was necessary to avoid future mishaps.

Then I de-friended the woman on facebook I had went on a date with.  I know it's pretty weird when you date someone once whose mother contacts you for no reason, but if you can't deal with my crazy mother you probably need to expand your comfort zone.  I never did find out what exactly Mother wrote to her, but I am happy not knowing so I don't have to cringe as much at the memory.

Open Letter to Amtrak Public Relations

The National Railroad Passenger Corporation
60 Massachusetts Ave., NE
Washington, DC 20002


18 October 2010

Dear Amtrak PR Person:

I really love riding on your trains. They are quick, convenient, comfortable, and the people are nice (except the ticket-collection lady today, but I'll forgive you because she was stressed by doing the job of probably several people for efficiency). Had I chosen to fly instead, the many different airlines would have discounted my ticket for buying fifteen minutes before as a standby passenger. You stood your ground and even charged me a little extra for the convenience you provide. I appreciate your tiered pricing structure because it allowed me to choose just how much to spend: I had the option of giving more money for business class or even taking the Acela, which has free wireless internet and would have taken half an hour less time to arrive. The entire experience was at the standards I would expect with Amtrak. 

Your café is really something. The “fresh turkey and cheese sandwich” I purchased for $4.50 had exactly the right amount of potassium benzoate for keeping the meat good for my dainty appetite. I could have eaten it in a few weeks from now and it probably wouldn’t have tasted any different than it did. Heck, at that price I should have bought a couple extra to keep in my desk to eat at work next month. Your sandwich provided me with the distinct opportunity to make a pit stop before returning to my seat. It was especially thoughtful of you to install a handle bar because you don’t realize how difficult it is to stay positioned on the train when you eat one of your sandwiches, until you eat one of your sandwiches. I guess what I mean to say is that the food on your train is almost as excellent as your lavatory.

My main reason for writing is to ask why its costs $106.00 to travel from DC to Newark. I paid $17.00 last time I rode the NJ transit train from Newark to Philadelphia, which I believe was a little more than half the distance of my recent trip with you. I also took the bus in the reverse direction the previous week for $20.00. The man who sold me your ticket defended the price as it was based on the time of my purchase before I could even say anything or thank him. But is that the sole reason? Some previous customers must have been curious like me, judging from what he said, so I apologize if you get this request for further explanation frequently. I know you wouldn’t be able to compare because you have never flown (why would you?), but your train ride takes longer than a flight. Maybe people feel better about spending money with you than the airlines because the cost per time spent riding is lower since you take longer.  

I wish to congratulate you on being practically the only operator in the market. Since there are no other services, I conclude it must be hard for train companies to stay in business. I would also like to express my gratitude for making it easy to choose a train service. The signs didn’t even say “Trains,” but, “Amtrak, this way,” because everyone recognizes you, and who would want to ride on another type of train anyway? Not me. I would probably have to sit next to poor people.  You have been the only train service from DC to Newark for so long that the lady at the main train station information booth didn’t even understand my question about an alternative. Incidentally, it seemed redundant that there were both separate Amtrak and main train travel information booths since there are no other train service companies who depart from the station in DC.

Sorry to inquire about your personal finances, but might I ask what you do with all those US federal government subsidies I read about in the paper but never hear you mention? I am merely curious out of admiration for the humble existence of your organization. 

Again, congratulations at being the biggest and the best as the only.

Awaiting your response,

Your dedicated passenger

PS, would you also please send me some information about becoming a stakeholder in your company to help pay off my credit card on which my ticket was charged?  Again, thank you.